Monday, December 12, 2005

Arachnophobia

Last night I saw a spider on the wall. Normally, if it's below waist level, I smash him with my foot. If he is above waist level, I grab a flip-flop and use it like a fly swatter. It's messy, but effective.

Ed kills a spider by taking some toilet paper, picking it off the wall and smashing it between his fingers. He likes to do it with as little toilet paper as possible - either to avoid waste or to gross me out knowing that he can feel the bug through the toilet paper as he smashes it.

Last night I saw a spider running across my wall and I decided that rather than smash his guts all over the wall with my shoe, I would stop being such a ninny and use toilet paper to smash his guts on the wall. (I can only dream of the day when I'll be brave enough to pluck him off the wall without leaving a mess.) I grabbed some toilet paper, wadded it up a little, and jabbed at him. An important detail at this point is that this spider was really booking it across the wall. As a result, I missed and he ran onto my toilet paper wad and then onto my hand.

The reason I usually use a shoe is because I'm terrified that the spider will run onto my hand and up my arm when I'm trying to get him. So I'm afraid that last night's little mishap just set me back 10 years in emotional spider-killing development.

I'm going back to using the bug-zapper that Heather bought me. It's a vacuum that sucks them up and frys them on a high-voltage grid. Mmm, toasty.

bugzapper

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Nikki,
I want one of those bug zappers too. I try to convince Louis to kill it for me, but that is like arguing a case for the Supreme Court. And by the time he goes for the kleenex the spider has moved so high up the wall it can't be reached. Then I think its going to come crawl across my face in the middle of the night. That zapper would make things so much easier. :-o

Nikki said...

Hey Kristine,

I totally hear you. When a spider has been identified in the house, it is the man's duty to kill it within the next 20 seconds. Any delay should be considered deliberate cruelty.

louisgray said...

And when's the last time any of us had issues with houseflies? Spiders are a necessary evil, and their webs are so cute!

Nikki said...

You can kill houseflies with the bug-zapping vacuum too. Sorry, spiders are totally outdated technology and they must be eliminated.

Anonymous said...

Mom says...Ed kills spiders just like my brother Russ does. He was told that it was his job to kill spiders. So mom's advice is to just let Ed do the spider killing when he is around. It makes them feel so manly when they can do it like Ed and Russ do and use so little toilet paper.