Ode to Microsoft Word

How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways.
I hate thee for thy paperclip that won’t
get out of sight, I hate thee when thou
freezest up, oh yes, with all my might.
I change my doc to landscape view, inserting
columns too. I change my mind and put it back
but just get grief from you. The margins are
too wide you say, the column widths too great.
You will not change it back for me, despite
my growing rage. There are no columns now,
you dolt, don’t tell me that there are. I turned
them off and all I want is what I had before.
I loved thee once, in times long past, you seemed
so wondrous then. I’d leave thee if I could, but
now that Microsoft has a freaking monopoly on the whole world, I can't!